Self Reflection

Dimitri Nojovski sat cross legged on the floor, with everything he knew to be true about his life scattered around him. It wasn't much to look at. But then neither was he. Born in a time when the Ukraine was the powerhouse of the Soviet Union, he was brought up to believe he could achieve anything, become anyone, go anywhere. And now here he was, in a squalid two room bedsit in North London, trying to work out what had become of this life he had been promised.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a photograph sticking out from a pile of yellowed papers. He smiled softly to himself as he gently pulled it out, the beaming faces of a young family looking back at him. Pavlo and Yulia, twins, would be well into their teens by now, growing up in a country that was far more Westernised that Dimitri could ever imagine or accept. And then there was Katerina – Katie – that beautiful, radiant woman who had saved him from a bar fight, and then slapped him until he apologised to the man who had picked the fight with him! He had no idea what she thought of him now.

It had been 14 long years since he had seen his perfect little family, the last time being a day he wished he could remember. He dropped his head into his palms as the pain of lonesomeness washed over him again, a feeling now all too familiar. He dragged himself to his feet and walked over to the window, his shoulders sagging at the view of a bitter January morning, it's post-Christmas hangover fitted firmly in place. A bedraggled blackbird had nested on his window ledge, and it tried valiantly to inject some cheer into his morning with a meandering song, but it did little to improve Nojovski's mood.

The telephone buzzed in the corner, its noise upsetting the blackbird who flew away, chirping furiously about the disturbance. Nojovski ambled across the room and picked up the receiver.

'Da?'

'Dimitri? Aleksander. How are you?'

Dimitri grunted in response.

'I need you back here tomorrow Dimitri. You've had long enough. I understand your troubles, and they are concerns I too share. But right now we have work to be doing, and while you're not doing it, someone else is making it worse for us.'

Dimitri hung up. He and his former boss had had this conversation roughly once a week for the past 7 months. Every time it was the same, only the exasperation increased each time. He walked over to the window and looked at himself, his hair now an unkempt mess of tangled black, and a darkness over his face that was neither a beard nor fashionable. His eyes were still his though, and they looked back at him with menacing authority.

'I know.' he said to himself. 'It's time.'